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Monday, October 25, 2010

at least im not bipolar...

I just have to have an incentive! so does everyone else right? i need some sort of an incentive to want to go there... they offer u "something" or its just basic... its simple,,,, u wana go.... they have something U WANT. what do u want? WHAT DO U WANT? do u know what u want? they know what u want. or u can figure out what u want bc u go there, i am preettyyy sure of it. U shuld b more sure of what u want. u should know what they r after. i should tell u. :) . u r told. ha. im just doin my job now... that means u r involved, u r in this just as much as i am. Anyway,
I've gptten a million letters from Sean and none from the other guy... that means I am feeling worse about not writting either of them.... i mean, i am, but i just havent sent any of the letters yet, thats just me being me... incorrectly. i have them written and i know very well how to send a letter i just dont know hat it is, do i. ? .
u dont either.
thats exactly why im not asking.
i am telling it like it is bc i believe u should know since uve been this loyal and true (yea sure) this far.
JP came by today...
we had our Ninjas out...
I am a ninja
glad to b associated with ninjas...
thought my days there were over bc i was offered next to NOTHING but I dragged reality to his feet...
Now, I am able to see how for this month it may be better I do THIS than none of that, bc not doing it will only make me more sad.
I would love to make more money, bc I think I can one day but I also know that like is like going up a stair case... one with little steps and big steps... u have to ook down and b VERY careful while u step onto the next one... bc they arent even like the normal ones... they are there for u to get confused... so as much as u wana b cool, as much as u wana b a stupid model and not look down, u must, in order to survive, n take care of where u step and also HOW u step... HOW u step is VERY important too bc its where u r tested to see how much balance and flexibility u have, how much u can make it look like u arent looking.. this is where the modeling skills really come in to play... bc models cant b that dumb... otherwise I will b the one to FIRE them.... Models r acting and acting is talent and talent is talent and talent is very much a talent that every beautiful woman wished they had. I'm glad beautiful women dnt have tTHAT,,, I'm glad that I have a big nose and ballerina feet that somebody in the world will have to deal with... actually,
I take that back.
I wish I had a smaller nose, not smaller but a more "refined" one... its not a big deal...
(everyone does it)
I danced my ass off
always.
I was supposed to be a ballerina, I think.
I tink it more bc my mom was so cool she told me I had a really beautiful neck when I danced...
all i remember was the blisters on my feet
the cotton balls
the bobby pins
the shit u boys wont understand.
Dippity doo! Dammit!
I went to this ballet class where my teacher was way out in Kendall...
I went there with Lulu Rodriguez. She was my BFF, we both lived in Cocoplum, I also copied her HW. Not long ago we spoke and she was telling me about a time where it was Me Her n Ali Webber (her mom taught kindergarden at the school we were at) we sat in a row.... NOOOOOOO MYYY BADDDDD it was Me , Lulu n Carla De Fortuna!!!! and Lulu sat on one side, Carla in between us... WELL, Carla SKIPPIED a # when we were both cheating off LULU! LOL so i copied all of Carlas wronga answers and since they matched up, I was the one in the biggest trouble... even though IF i had tried to just answer the damn shit on my own I would hav prob gotten a better grade than... whatever.... THIS IS A FUNNY STORRYYY... so we got in trouble...
Carla de fortuna was the one who copied Lulu wrong not ME off CDF! FUCK! i actually remember veeerrrryyyy well how the #'s mattered!!!!! LOL fine dnt believe me, ur just not gona, r ya? LOL


I need a brake...



back later...


xo

PS I want to help Bipolar ppl... they r Bipolar, they cant help themselves.

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