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Tuesday, November 2, 2010

going, going, gone.

Slacked off a bit today... well, thats what i call it. Having two EXTREMELY HIGH STRUNG parents makes u feel worse about things most ppl wouldnt even spend the time worrying about. It's in my genes. I need Xanax, major. Its hard out there! I'm not used to this shit! I didnt know life was gona end up being like this! I really focused on so many beautiful things that I was not looking at reality for sooo long!!
I met this guy a while back, he came to the store I dont work at anymore... I said I wasnt gona promote them and write for them; their social marketing, describing the products for the website, the newsletter... if i wasnt seeing a decent amount from any commission from the sales! I was gona writ for FREE and whatever I DO SELL for them I wanted to make at least 10% commission... if not it just wasnt worth my time. I had to put my foot down bc my whole life ive been USED AND ABUSED by every position i have had... and i rather not work for NADA and do other things than be in a position where ppl arent appreciating me in the true sense where MONEY becomes something i deserve more than time wasted on u u u u u u u u. I mean im not starving, my parents are putting up with me and helping me more than i wish to express but i look around and i see haste, i see bankrupt, ego, scavengers! LOL i see nothin but a hard knock life and i want i to be simplified! i want to help a partner, i want to share, i want to have some kids and i want to be economically stable but it makes me frustrated to know that i want to rely on it being MY OWN money but i just rather have the good life, the kids, the purity of indians, the freedom, the happiness that brings and do my shit on the side. my shit would consist of collecting things to eventually make things... the collages, the art projects for the kids, the gatorade for the games LOL idk... pls let me breathe, let me travel, let me be safe, let me NOT take care of ur accounting but let me spend it wisely on teaching the lil ones, on looking pretty and on letting everyone i know feel welcome and ok about themselves! i want a big livingroom and pool and James Bond at my side lol I want to live modestly, i want to spend money on traveling and on experiences and on comfort and i want LOVE. I dont want to argue nd i want to argue bc its FUN. I dont want to be a show, i want to be healthy and normal in a sense. i want to be generous and have class. I want to stay true to my "friends" I want to take pictures and nurture those that need it. I want to print pictures out and i want to have my own ART SCHOOL! LOL I want to be the president of it and I want it to be a never ending beautiful thing that is EXTREMELY INSPIRED! where kids are free to be themselves and make ideas come true.

HAhahaha


Yaaaa

Just let the shit flowwwww...


I

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