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Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Magical moments...

Went to Kabbalah class today... its every Tuesday night for an hour, with my boyfriend and even my Mom... working on our other project which has to do with finding "the light" from the darkness... which is where I've been if you have followed my blog for that long... its been a roller-coaster but we all have had our own individual ride which has taught us and led us to where we are now.

When I got home we edited more for the "Magic" movie and ordered pizza...

We asked my Dad for one of his songs for the soundtrack for a section of the short film, being a very humble guy it wasnt easy for him to think he had anything that would suit us... when in fact anything of his would in my opinon... hes such a poetic deep man.

I mentioned him the song he wrote for me on the piano when I was a little girl...

"oh its just a sonata" he said
like a piano excersise song, blah blah blah...

he agreed that hed practice it a bit before we recorded him

the story turned around and I fond myself on the piano with my father doing duets i hadnt played since I was maybe 5 yrs old when I played all the time with him... he made up some simple keys for me to practice and he would sit along side me and play something much more complicated...
sadly, it felt like a punishment those days to play the piano with him...

when i broke against my old memories and habits of letting the piano entirely go out of my life and actually sat back down with my dad those same simple songs came right back to me... and i know that it was a big deal for him to have me play them again... i didnt even want to get up! i wanted to play them over and over again and i even remembered one of them better than him! haha

amazingly because of Paul who brought me over to the piano and because of the Kabbalah approach im learning this was possible.

"breaking through our comfort-seeking selfish nature will lead us to true fulfillment." Living Kabbalah book

it was a magic moment in and of itself and now it will be a part of "Magic" isn't that magical?

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I have just finished reading a chapter in my book which talked about "restriction"... where later they ask you to really examine what u really want from life... and as you read further u are digging deeper into yourself to find out what that truly is...


I have already written the first part somewhere but this is my second part and so in order for it not to get lost in my mess of papers and things I am choosing to rewrite it on here...


So what I really want from life...

family
happiness
travel
knowledge
of art & my interests to become a better artist, photography, discover deeper and deeper into my talens, pushing boundaries, always reinventing, a model for children, to learn to stay composed, always trying new things, to grow and share, learn to cook new meals always learning taking a class which interests me, to become the best I can be, a wonderful daughter, sister, aunt, wife, mother etc. Reaching out to others more, planning, creating, to find beauty in everything, to make my dreams and ideas come to life, to surround myself with interesting ppl who share back with me and that we can collaborate together, to give myself to art and find my place in it. to make money so i can live a beautiful life full of luxury, choices, joy and buy art. to find myself! to find others & help others & make the world a better place by recycling & sharing beauty & art.

goodnight*

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