A piece of a puzzle...

As I make a list to get myself out of the funk of everyday life I notice that my list isnt really that long and that it just needs some time to focus. I beat myself up about the little things and they amount to something big and I'm not sure what happened these past couple days but I blame it on my broken pinkie toe haha. Well, nothing really bothers me... like sharing posts and getting no "likes" ;) I havent been posting on this blog bc its turned into a personal matter. I have so many things to keep track of and I dont wana have any rules here. People are buying interest is what Im getting at, paying for followers or for likes... Its all over Twitter, Instagram, even Facebook has a way to advertise... I'm not clear about what I'm selling LOL. I used to think this was fun, that it was easy... now its just a pain in the ass trying to keep up. I mean, jk bc its fun for me to find something and post it or take a picture of where I am and find ppl w the same interests through hashtags... I understand it... Im a part of this society... I heard our history is being erased btw. I didnt sign the waiver! People are in a band, Ive been looking deeper into that from seeing some shows with Paul and how a not so pretty girl looks on stage when she played a shaker and the little round lights skimming the dress as the circle the room and her sequins throw a shine... It takes a lot of practice, a lot of passion... I never had that but when I look at it now I guess I saw it with these eyes. It always looked like a lot of work and if you think about all these musicians in town and how they go from band to band or maybe even play in 3 at the same time... its like Wow! Do they just wana play? or are they waiting for something to HIT? Its like everything in life but being on stage and playing in unison songs that you have practiced over and over and to feel that power, ppl listening, and then its done, it makes one proud, no? Its more interesting than painting bc its a team. Admit it, painting you can get lucky, nobody has to know the truth. I would like to find the team, a team of more than friends... I dont have that. I know more about myself than ever before, I know what I'm good at and also my weaknesses... I think we all should fit nicely like a puzzle, we all belong somewhere and with that feeling of belonging is where we excel. I hope you understand.